If only I knew
by anumita.chakrabarty
Summary: Merry Christmas everyone! Another Kumirei. But this will hurt. Ouch! Read at your own risk!


It's been 10 years. I still remember every detail vividly. On this fateful day, 10 years ago, we had been together sitting at the very spot I'm sitting alone today. The festival lights still glimmering and sparkling like twinkling stars. The view hasn't changed a bit since then at the top of Mt. Daikichi.

I'm still surprised that Kumiko is happily married to Shuichi. She must be enjoying the festival right now with her two beautiful kids. I called her today to meet here at our special place. Undoubtedly, she was busy with her family. But still it hurt me. Nonetheless, a present came at my place. I haven't opened it yet. It's surprising that an anonymous present has arrived. Although I have many crazy fans but this is just uncanny. I wonder what would be next. Proposals at my doorstep?

Anyways, I open up the present. There's a diary inside with no name. I open up a random page uninterested and look at the contents. It says-

"Dear diary,

I hurt someone today unknowingly. My head had to pop up a random question at the competition-'Did you think we could make it to the nationals?' and no less I asked this question to, Reina Kousaka, the beautiful trumpet player" I'm shocked. This is the diary of….Kumiko.

I read further-

"I'm somehow sad at my sudden outburst. I didn't mean to hurt her but my honest mouth is not habitual of stopping itself at the right time. Anyways, I created a confusing state between us when all I wanted to be friends with her. I don't know what to do now? I wish you were a person and could give me some suggestions.

Love,

Kumiko"

Now I know who exactly is Ms Anonymous. Geez, why would Kumiko do this? I could actually get to know all about her secrets. It's not that I don't know but somehow she keeps up her good girl skin.

I read further yet another chapter. It's about the festival-

"…..She was like Snow Maiden walking before me. Her snowy dress beautifully fitting her at the right places. When she looked at me, there was this fluttering of butterflies in my chest. The way she spoke her name, I internally moaned her name back. And her electric touch. That one finger sending shivers down my spine. Reina, Reina, Reina. I could get used to chanting her name for eternity…"

I blush. What is going on? It's like Kumiko…..No way she can't have feelings for me. To be sure, I open yet another random page-

"…Today she confessed her love for Taki-sensei at the same place she had confessed to me. I felt like my heart squeezed and would just come out of my mouth.

I guess I'm so good at pretending that I don't care. I'm supporting her, rooting for her. But she would never know what is going on deep within my heart. I'm still fighting with my inner turmoil. The sleeping pills help but to certain extent.

It's ridiculous that how deeply I have fallen for her. I can't get rid of her thoughts for a split second. Alabaster skin, onyx hair and most striking feature of all, the mysterious amethyst gaze holding such gravity and staring right across my soul making me naked infront of her. If only I could surrender all of my being to her-body, mind and soul and she would gladly accept it, I would merge into her. Become one with Reina…."

I'm at the verge of tears. Realization hit me like a brick. My best friend was all along in love with me? And I was such a fool I didn't notice anything.

I can't stop here. I have to read more-

"….Reina. The name is sweet in itself. It's as if it kisses me, rolls up my tongue and comes out of my lips just like the melody or sound comes out of her trumpet. The name itself is like the personification of the person. So wonderful in itself.

She's my queen. The only one who has captivated my heart. I worship her with all my being. And now when I walk down the aisle, I'll only think of her. When I kiss Shuichi, I'll only feel her soft pink lips over mine, the sweet taste of rosemary running down my veins and calming my soul with her love. In my heart, I'm going to marry her. Hehe, she wouldn't have a clue about it….."

This is it. I can't read it further. My eyes are clouded. Thick streams of water running across my cheeks. I'm crying like a child. So helpless. So naïve.

And then I see a letter amidst one of the pages. It says-

"Dear Reina,

This belongs to you now. It's not right that I keep it any longer with me. I have a family now. I have duties and this will only make me suffer more. I didn't have any intention to hurt you by giving this. I had thought innumerable times, what to do with it. Maybe just burn it or something. But it's my precious memories. I can't just do that. I just want you to keep it with you. It's my first and last request. Maybe this way I'll know that it is with the person it belongs. I couldn't be with the person I was meant to be but my memories stayed with its rightful owner.

Thanks for everything, Reina. Arigatou :")

Yours only

Kumiko"

I again scream my lungs out from the top of the mountain. This time I'm alone. There's no Kumiko with me. What did I do? Oh Kumiko, I ruined everything. If only I knew….


End file.
